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January 22, 2009, admin
I am going to post up the whole of the 1933 classic Duck Soup, as well as the original script, by Harry Ruby, Bert Kalmar and Grover Jones. It’s interesting to see which lines didn’t survive to the final film cut and which ones got changed.
Some have argued that their anarchic, rebellious humor was a direct response to the depression and I can see the logic in that view.
Anyway, here’s strong part one of the script
The story begins with an opening shot on the exterior of the
executive mansion. It is a gala day. Soldiers are lined up
in front of the entrance; expensive cars and carriages are
arriving and depositing distinguished notables from the
adjoining countries. Two trumpeters at the head of the stairs
announce the arrival of each notable.
In the large reception hall, Mrs. Teasdale, wife of the late
president, is greeting the newcomers. The room is filled
with distinguished guests. At the moment we see Mrs.
Teasdale, she is talking with a notable. In the near
background is a group of distinguished men, members of her
own cabinet. Her words to the notable are not lost on them,
and as she begins to praise the new dictator, there is the
exchange of disapproving glances.
MRS. TEASDALE
It is so good of you to come.
NOTABLE
An honor, Mrs. Teasdale… You must
indeed have great faith in your new
dictator to give him such a
magnificent reception.
MRS. TEASDALE
I feel that Rufus T. Firefly is the
only logical successor to my dear
departed husband. He has the
statesmanship of Gladstone, the
humility of Lincoln, and the wisdom
of Pericles.
The notable kisses her hand once more and leaves the scene.
As he does, the background group moves into Mrs. Teasdale.
Their spokesman addresses Mrs. Teasdale.
FIRST CABINET MEMBER
(Protestingly)
Mrs. Teasdale, as members of
Freedonia’s cabinet, we do not approve
of your choice. Who is this Rufus
T. Firefly?
SECOND CABINET MEMBER
(Waving aloft a paper)
A stranger in our midst, an agent
for the Eureka Ammunition Company.
Think of it, Gentlemen, an ammunition
salesman dictating the policies of
our peace-loving country.
THIRD CABINET MEMBER
Reconsider, Mrs. Teasdale, before it
is too late. The citizens of
Freedonia want a President!
MRS. TEASDALE
As the widow of your last president,
I have the right to choose — and,
Gentlemen, I refuse to discuss the
matter any further.
Mrs Teasdale turns her back on them, leaving them to mumble
among themselves.
From off scene comes a servant’s voice, announcing:
SERVANT
His Excellency, Ambassador Verdi
Trentino of Amnesia!
Cut… to the archway. We see Trentino enter with a beautiful
brunette at his side. He is followed by two or three of his
fellowmen. He moves across the reception hall to Mrs.
Teasdale, bows most graciously and presses his lips to the
back of her hand, then introduces his companion.
TRENTINO
Mrs. Teasdale… my niece, Vera.
Mrs. Teasdale shakes the girl’s hand warmly.
MRS. TEASDALE
(To niece)
Your uncle has been such a friend to
us in every crisis. Without his
country’s financial aid –
TRENTINO
(Lightly)
What is money?
(Tenderly)
Mrs. Teasdale, for you — I would do
anything.
MRS. TEASDALE
(Flustered)
Ambassador!
(Attempting to change
the subject)
I am so anxious for you to meet our
new dictator.
TRENTINO
(Persistent in his
flattery)
Mrs. Teasdale — no matter who rules
Freedonia, to me you will always be
the first lady of the land.
Trentino attempts to take her hand. The latter is a bit
confused, much to the amusement of Vera, who laughingly says:
VERA
Mrs. Teasdale, my uncle’s hopeless —
you’ve been the only topic of
conversation ever since we left
Amnesia.
Mrs. Teasdale’s confusion is happily interrupted by the
announcement of a servant, off scene.
SERVANT
The Honorable Mohamed Pandooh of
Mufhtan!
MRS. TEASDALE
(Hastily)
Oh, I must greet His Honor.
Mrs. Teasdale exits from the scene quickly. Vera and Trentino
look after her, then Vera laughs softly, as their eyes meet.
VERA
So that’s the one you want to marry.
TRENTINO
With Mrs. Teasdale as my wife and
Freedonia under my control –
(He rubs his hands
significantly)
VERA
Maybe it’s not going to be so easy.
From what I’ve heard, Mrs. Teasdale
is rather sweet on this Rufus T.
Firefly.
TRENTINO
That’s where you come in. I’ll leave
him in your hands, and don’t forget
you’re supposed to be my niece.
Vera winks agreeingly.
Mrs. Teasdale enters the scene with Bob Firefly (ZEPPO).
She introduces him.
MRS. TEASDALE
I want you to meet the son of His
Excellency — Bob Firefly…
Ambassador Trentino… his niece, Vera, After the formalities
of introducing, Trentino says:
TRENTINO
Isn’t it about time for the ceremony
to begin, Mrs. Teasdale?
(Mockingly)
I do hope His Excellency won’t be
late.
BOB
(Defensively)
My father makes it a point to always
be on time. As long as I’ve known
him, he’s never been late for an
appointment.
TRENTINO
But it’s two minutes of ten now.
BOB
(As music begins)
His Excellency is due To take his
station. Beginning his new
Administration… He’ll make his
appearance when The clock on the
wall strikes ten.
MRS. TEASDALE
(singing)
When the clock on the wall strikes
ten All you loyal ladies and you
patriotic men Let’s sing the national
anthem when… The clock on the
wall strikes ten.
The clock begins to strike the hour… one… two…
three… four…
ALL
(singing)
Hail, hail, Freedonia… Mightiest
of mighty nations! Hail, hail,
Freedonia Land of the brave and free.
This finishes on an operatic note with everybody with
outstretched hands turned toward the main door that connects
the reception hall with the outer hall.
Groucho doesn’t appear and once more they all sing.
ALL
(singing)
Hail, hail, Freedonia… Land of the
brave and free.
Again Groucho fails to appear and they all sing once more.
ALL
Hail, hail, Freedonia… Land of the
brave and free.
Mrs. Teasdale exchanges an apprehensive glance with Bob.
Vera and Trentino smile.
MRS. TEASDALE
(Nervously)
I hope nothing has happened.
BOB
Mrs. Teasdale, I assure you there is
nothing to worry about. Father is
probably taking extra care in getting
into his robes of state. I’ll call
him.
Bob goes over to a corner of the room and pulls a tapestried
bell cord. This rings a fire bell in Groucho’s room — and
Groucho is disclosed asleep in his canopied bed under a
mosquito netting. He has an unlighted cigar in his mouth.
The continued jangling of the fire bell awakens him from his
slumber and he rises quickly. The cigar begins to emit smoke
when he starts puffing. He hurries over to one corner of
the room where his clothes are arranged in fireman fashion,
gets into them, and then sides down a fireman’s pole into
the reception hall.
The guests are singing the last two lines of the national
anthem when he arrives.
ALL
Hail, hail, Freedonia… Land of the
brave and free.
Groucho starts across the hall in the direction of Mrs.
Teasdale. He passes several notables, one of whom is wearing
an impressive looking medal. Groucho deprives him of it
without stopping his forward movement, and pins it on himself.
He pauses only when he is facing the principal group.
MRS. TEASDALE
(Beaming as she
addresses Groucho)
As chairwoman of the reception
committee, I welcome you and extend
the good wishes of every man, woman
and child of Freedonia. I deem it
an honor on this momentous occasion…
GROUCHO
(Interrupting)
Never mind that stuff…
He takes a pack of cards from is pocket and extends them to
Mrs. Teasdale.
GROUCHO
Take a card.
The bewildered Mrs. Teasdale complies.
Groucho puts the other fifty-one cards in his pocket.
MRS. TEASDALE
What’ll I do with this card?
GROUCHO
You can keep it — I’ve got a whole
pack… Now what were you saying?
MRS. TEASDALE
As chairwoman of the reception
committee, I welcome you with open
arms.
GROUCHO
How late do you stay open?
MRS. TEASDALE
In choosing you, I feel that I serve
my country well. I heartily endorse
everything you stand for.
GROUCHO
Well, I won’t stand for much. And I
won’t stand for you if you don’t
show some improvement soon. Look at
your report card last month — “D”
in spelling… six in behavior.
Now who were the six? A fine state
of affairs — no wonder you can’t
matriculate, now what were you saying?
MRS. TEASDALE
The future of Freedonia rests upon
you. Promise me you will follow in
my husband’s footsteps.
GROUCHO
(To CAMERA)
I haven’t been on the job five minutes
and already she’s making advances to
me.
(To Mrs. Teasdale)
Not that I care — but where is your
husband?
MRS. TEASDALE
(Slightly embarrassed)
Why - er — my husband passed away…
(reverently)
I was with him to the very end.
GROUCHO
No wonder he passed away. I’d like
to be with you to the very end.
Can’t you see what I’m trying to
tell you — I love you.
MRS. TEASDALE
(Very warmly)
Your Excellency!
GROUCHO
You’re not so bad yourself, Mrs.
Teasdale, when I look at you I can
see that we’re facing a crisis.
We’ve got to balance the budget —
we’ve got to cut down everything
including, you.
Ambassador Trentino enters the scene.
MRS. TEASDALE
Oh… Your Excellency… I would
like to present to you… Ambassador
Verdi Trentino Of Amnesia… Having
him with us today is indeed a great
honor.
TRENTINO
(To Mrs. Teasdale,
smiling appreciatively)
Thanks… but I can’t stay very long.
GROUCHO
That’s even a greater honor.
TRENTINO
I bring you the greetings of my
President and the good will of my
people.
GROUCHO
I’ll keep the greetings — but you
can send back the good will… what
we need right now is twenty million
dollars.
TRENTINO
Twenty million dollars is a
considerable sum… I’ll have to
discuss that with my Minister of
Finance.
GROUCHO
Well, in the meantime, could you let
me have $50 personally?
TRENTINO
(Surprised)
$50?
GROUCHO
I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll
give you Mrs. Teasdale as security.
(Throwing a glance at
Mrs. Teasdale)
or my jackknife. If you want my
advice, you’ll take the jackknife…
I’ve a better proposition… Make
it $25 and I’ll give you a first
mortgage on my son and I hope you
foreclose.
TRENTINO
(With a puzzled look
at Groucho)
Your Excellency, haven’t we met
before?
GROUCHO
(Looking at Trentino)
Why yes. I met you at the dog races —
say, you could have won that race if
you tried a little harder.
Vera Trentino enters scene.
TRENTINO
Excellency, may I present my niece.
GROUCHO
Go ahead.
TRENTINO
You don’t understand. This is my
niece Vera.
GROUCHO
(Throwing her a glance)
And Vera niece, too.
VERA
Your Excellency, please don’t think
me silly, but I’d love to have a
picture of you. I want to hang it
in my bedroom.
GROUCHO
You couldn’t hang me in your bedroom —
I’ll make a note of it. Where’s my
secretary?
(Looking around)
Bob (ZEPPO) enters scene.
BOB
Here I am, Father.
GROUCHO
(To Bob)
Take a letter.
BOB
(Taking out a
stenographer’s pad
and pencil)
Who to?
GROUCHO
The President of the United States.
Bob writes as Groucho dictates
GROUCHO
My dear President… read it back…
BOB
(Reading from pad)
“My dear President”…
GROUCHO
That doesn’t sound right… take
out “President”… now read it.
BOB
(Reading)
“My dear”…
GROUCHO
That’s not right yet… put back
“President” and take out “dear”…
How does it read now?
BOB
(Reading)
“My President”…
GROUCHO
There’s still something wrong with
it… take out “President” …now
what’ve you got?
BOB
(Reading)
“My”…
GROUCHO
Now we’re on the right track… Put
back “dear”… How does it read?
BOB
(Reading)
“My dear”…
GROUCHO
You can’t say that to the President…
Put back “President”… Now let’s
hear how sounds.
BOB
(Reading)
“My dear President”…
GROUCHO
That’s what I wanted in the first
place. Tear it up and send it
airmail.
BOB
Is that all?
GROUCHO
Take another letter… to my tailor.
Bob takes dictation again.
GROUCHO
Dear Sir… enclosed find check for
$100. Yours very truly… Send
that immediately.
BOB
I’ll have to enclose the check first.
GROUCHO
You do and I’ll fire you.
Groucho glares over his shoulder at Bob to emphasize his
remark as the latter exits from the scene. Mrs. Teasdale
enters to Groucho.
Look out for Part Two soon
Filed under: Articles, Comedy 1920's-1940's, Marx Brothers |
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December 14, 2008, admin
Today, Harold Lloyd is much less well known than his contemporaries, Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin and Laurel and Hardy. Yet in the 1920s, Lloyd was not only one of the most well known people in the world, but was reputed to be the highest paid film star in Hollywood. He was also extremely prolific, making over 200 films in his career. Lloyd was a true pioneer, arguably the first major comedian who emerged from the film industry itself, rather than from extending an existing vaudeville career. He was also the ultimate exponent of ‘thrill comedy’, in which the protagonist (invariably Lloyd himself) found himself in comedic but dangerous situations.
There are many excellent and detailed articles available online which trace Lloyd’s career and influence. Here, we offer just a few snippets about this unfairly neglected genius.
The ‘Glasses Character’

The Glasses Character
At the start of his career, Lloyd portrayed characters that were virtual clones of Charlie Chaplin’s ‘tramp’ character. The most well-known of these is ‘Lonesome Luke’.
His career really took off with the invention, in 1917, of ‘the glasses character’, a boy next door with a winning smile and an endless resourcefulness. The glasses character was an everyman rather than a caricature, allowing Lloyd to explore the humour within mundane, everyday situations. His optimism and go-getting nature fitted perfectly with the American twenties zeitgeist and the audience was able to connect with the glasses character in a very direct way. Above all, the glasses character introduced relatively plausible romance to the screen and with him, Lloyd almost single-handedly invented the genre of ‘romantic comedy’.
Injury and recovery
In August of 1919, Lloyd was posing with a stage bomb for a photograph. The pose involved him lighting the fuse with a cigarette. Tragically, there was a mix-up with the props and Lloyd was given a special-effects bomb that exploded in his hand. The thumb and forefinger of his right hand were blown off; however, the greater worry was for his sight. Doctors thought it likely that he would never see again.
In time, however, Lloyd’s sight returned and a prosthetic glove designed to disguise the injury. Given that nearly all of Lloyd’s work called for athletic feats and that he was renowned for carrying out the majority of his own stunts, it is remarkable that Lloyd found ways to work around his disability.
Harold Lloyd’s financial success
Lloyd’s film career brought him immense wealth. At one time, he was one of the ten highest paid entertainers in the world, or, according to some sources, the highest paid film performer in the world. Greenacres, the Lloyd’s estate (built 1926-9) became a byword for opulence. It has 44 rooms, 26 bathrooms, 12 fountains, 12 gardens and a 9 hole golf course. It is listed on the National Register of Historic Places and featured in the 1973 film Westworld.
Few people would suspect that Lloyd’s 1920s films made more money than Charlie Chaplin’s. Lloyd’s films grossed $15.7 million to Chaplin’s $10.5 million. Although Chaplin’s films made more money individually, Lloyd made twelve feature films compared to Chaplin’s three.
Decline of career
Throughout the 1920s, Lloyd consistently earned around $1.5 million per film. But the arrival of sound proved problematic and ultimately an insurmountable barrier. The writers, and Lloyd, found it difficult to adjust to producing comedy in which dialogue played a key role.
At first, the transition looked to be working well, with Lloyd’s first ‘talkie’, Welcome Danger, grossing around $3 million. But by 1934, The Cat’s Paw made a loss, which was repeated in The Milky Way (1936). In 1938, Lloyd lost $119,000 of his own money on Professor Beware. By the age of 45, his movie career was effectively over.
Hobbies and interest
When it came to hobbies, Harold Lloyd was something of a serial obsessionist. He was rich, energetic and after the decline of his career, at something of a loose end. His interests were diverse and included microscopy, travel, chess, breeding Great Danes, bowling, stereo systems and photography.
Of all of these, probably his deepest and longest-standing interest was photography. Lloyd conducted early experiments in colour film: in 1929,some of the earliest Technicolor tests were shot at Greenacres. After his career was over, he returned to this interest, and particularly in 3D colour photography. He photographed many celebrities, including Marilyn Monroe in a bathing suit at his pool, this latter published after their deaths. His collection of 3D stills was estimated at 250,000, most of which were nude, glamour shots. In 2004, his granddaughter Suzanne produced a book of selections from his photographs, subtly titled Harold Lloyd’s Hollywood Nudes in 3D!
In his later years, Lloyd became obsessed with state-of-the-art stereo systems, which he would play at building-shaking volumes. He ordered the entire annual catalogues of several record companies and his collection exceeded that of many record stores.
Not that all of his interests were so cerebral or aesthetic: as a younger man, he indulged a reputedly formidable libido and, according to Hal Roach, left several illegitimate children.
Further Reading
In part two, we will look at Harold’s domestic life, his creative control over his output and the highpoints of his film career.
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